Much has been written about the alarming rise in anxiety and depression, especially in young people. But here’s the good news: Real solutions are here.
When Leo was just 8 years old, he and his mother Catherine moved from New York City to the Jersey Shore. Leo’s father was incarcerated. Catherine had taken a new job, and was eager to give Leo a fresh start, in the relatively peaceful suburbs of Monmouth County.
But Leo is not exactly the type of child for whom change comes easily. In many ways, he’s bright and mature beyond his years, but socially, he’s always been reticent to assimilate with his peers. “Ever since he was little, he would walk right up to grown-ups and start conversations, even with strangers,” says Catherine. “But
he was afraid to talk to kids his own age.”
This disconnect grew more significant after their move to New Jersey. Of course, it’s always intimidating to be the new kid, but Leo presented an especially difficult challenge for his teachers. His tests revealed an exceptional intelligence level, so much so that he was eligible to skip ahead a grade. But behaviorally, he was lacking in ordinary social skills. Like a lot of modern kids, he spent plenty of time online—and in Leo’s case, his preoccupation with screen time had begun to seem unhealthy.
Then came 2020, a year of lockdowns and school closures. Students across New Jersey and around the world were relegated to virtual learning. Even relatively well-adjusted students grappled with the angst and isolation of so-called social distancing. For children like Leo, who were already struggling socially, the lockdowns were tragically detrimental. Catherine had already been fighting to limit her son’s screen time; now all of his classes were happening on digital windows.
When his school finally re-opened its doors in the fall of 2021, Leo was ill prepared to return. At only 10 years old, he was battling severe anxiety and depression. He spoke about himself with increasing negativity, saying thinks like “I suck” and “I’m stupid” with alarming regularity. At school, he was unable to form relationships; his best friends were people he knew only as screen names in online games.
As Leo’s motivation and confidence deteriorated, Catherine became determined to find new solutions. In 2021, she took two vital steps forward: She enrolled Leo in talk therapy, and simultaneously applied him to be a “Little” with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Coastal and Northern NJ. Leo took to both his new therapist and his new “Big Brother,” with some initial hesitation. But over the past three years, by almost
all accounts, Leo’s mental health has dramatically improved. Now 13 years old, he no longer engages in negative self-talk. He’s become far more comfortable at socializing with his peers. He still pesters his mother for screen time but spends more time outdoors. He looks forward to outings with his “Big,” and by his own admission, sees the value in therapy. “Sometimes therapy is boring,” says Leo. “But it’s really good to have somebody to talk to.”
Read the complete story in the November 2024 issue of Manasquan + Brielle Magazine HERE.
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